Weekly Thoughts by Fiona - A Quick Catch Up

Oops! Challenging myself to a weekly newsletter was thwarted by the literal threat of war

Hi everyone, it’s been a minute! Substack has been a safe space for me to click clack my feelings into the void, and I appreciate everyone who reads my writing. I am recommitting to my goal of publishing a weekly newsletter, now that I am feeling more mentally recovered from the - gestures vaguely - all of it.

I’ve been at a bit of a turning point in my career, and in case you haven’t picked it up from reading anything else I’ve published this year, I’ve been trying to figure out what is going to get me out of bed every morning. What type of work will I enjoy, even when it’s stressful? What will make me feel fulfilled and accomplished at the end of the day? And how do I balance it all without running myself into the ground? I suppose you’ll just have to stay tuned as I find the answers to those questions.

Knitting Update

Picadilly Scrunchie tester call, matching my Olga Sweater, and a new crochet proejct!

I’ve been working on a couple of projects since we last caught up. I finally put out a tester call for the pattern I’ve been developing called the “Picadilly Scrunchie” and have been thrilled at the reception. I actually can’t believe people want to knit something I came up with! The tester call is now closed, and I have the honor of selecting testers which honestly feels so surreal.

I cast on a second Olga sweater using yarn that I got at A Woolen Affair and Rhinebeck. The blue is from Sunset Fiber Co, and the brown is from A Hundred Ravens. I did realize after casting on that the blue is plied, while the brown is not, but OH WELL this is the cost of using indie yarn. I have been so excited about this color combo that I had to rent a shirt from Nuuly this month that matches. Call it motivation for finishing this project.

Finally, I’m working on another new concept. I saw a reel posted by @rosesvane that I immediately had to copy. I’m using a lace weight sparkly acrylic that I picked up at FabScrap, a fabric recycling nonprofit in Brooklyn. I got a cone of the while and a cone of the blue, and it’s working up much nicer than I feared machine knitting yarn would. The main issue is the yarn is very slippery, so it is not staying in the cake very nicely and getting tangled on itself. That and the way that I’m making the diamonds is very time consuming - probably because I’m using a 2.5mm hook. That said, I’m really excited to have the end product, and I have a lot of time right now to dedicate to my crafts. Shoutout career crisis.

Other Stuff

As I navigate this pivot, I am dealing with a lot of self doubt. I dropped by a coffee networking event for Rella - a social media management software - and met a bunch of folks who also work in the social media industry. It was a HUGE relief to network with strangers and see that they take what I’m doing seriously and see the value in it, in me. The beauty of social media is that anyone can post and gain a platform, but it does take skill and dedication to cultivate one. It’s something that I’ve taken for granted, and discounted because I make basically no money from my online presence. Which should be changing soon. The issue is that my world has been so poisoned by the need to drive/accumulate value, that I’ve written off my “silly hobby” as just that. I did not start this platform with the goal of being an influencer, but quickly content became the only thing that got me out of bed, washed, and dressed on any given week day. Content was the only thing that was getting me opportunities to leave my house and go somewhere that wasn’t my own recreation. Content was the only thing that was allowing me to meet new people - both online and in real life.

Working a fully remote corporate job feels a lot like being an influencer, but much less fun. My only relationships with my coworkers exist in Microsoft Teams DMs, basing what I know about them from their Teams picture (if they even have one). You have no idea how people are interpreting your words when no one turns their cameras on. You have no idea where they’re approaching each day from when every conversation is only about work.

When I got stuck in Mexico due to the cartel attack on Puerto Vallarta on February 22, I had to email my entire chain of command to let them know I wouldn’t be logging in that week because of my aforementioned situation. My manager, her manager, and the VP of my 70ish-person team. Nobody responded for hours. The HR rep responded with a, “stay safe!” and only after I texted another coworker (who had been keeping up with current events online) asking if he could check with my leadership that they’d received my note at all, did I get a response. I've long felt like these people don’t care if I live or die, and I basically got a confirmation.

I want to do something that actually reaches real people who care and benefit from my facilitation. I care deeply about art, community, and giving people the opportunity to gather and be creative. I’ve found social media as my jumping off point to begin that outreach, and to establish myself as someone reliable that you’d want to show up for. I take great pride in being a good friend, and showing up is 80% of the battle. I want to show up for you all as I show up for my community in real life, so here I am once again committing to a weekly newsletter!

Talk to you soon -

xoxo, Fiona